A long-term relationship brings two people together for all kinds of moments, both indescribably happy and terribly sad. These moments can bring two lifelong partners close together, push them far apart, or accomplish both at once. We have some ways older couples can make their marriages last so these moments can be driven towards unifying a couple, no matter whether they’re celebrating a victory, grieving a sadness, or simply going about normal life together.
It’s important to show your spouse they’re your most significant other by treating milestones as serious causes for celebration. With a long-term relationship, so much of your relationship is affected by the memories of the past. Recognizing these times shows your spouse you cherish the time you have spent together and are committed to sharing the memory of important occasions together. This allows you to build a shared story that is meaningful to both of you while also directing you forward. Anniversaries are the hallmark of marriage celebrations because they involve remembering your wedding day and recommitting yourselves to each other. For especially big days, such as your 50th Golden Anniversary, find a creative way to celebrate that incorporates the past while looking to find a new activity as well.
This may sound like a less intuitive way older couples can make their marriages last but making sure you have strong relationships outside your marriage helps your spousal relationship immensely. Two married people can get caught in a rut, arguing or miscommunicating in certain ways. Sometimes, time away from your spouse with friends can give you extra appreciation for them or a new perspective to view them through. Talking to a trusted friend about issues you’re experiencing can also free you from the echo chamber of a conversation with your spouse. This can help you reflect on your actions in a context where you’re less likely to react defensively. But you don’t even need to dig into your own disagreements to benefit from a friend. Sometimes others’ perspectives can indirectly affect how we treat our spouse.
As you age, you change. In a long-term relationship, you pass through many different life stages, and your spouse does as well. However, these transitions are not all at the same time. There will be changes you’re thankful or not thankful for and committing to falling in love with your spouse all over again is important to staying close. They may seem to become four different people throughout your lives, but you can try to find the most admirable qualities of each “different person.” You can keep a record of their life to affirm their growth and cherish their story with them.